Welp! The White House has officially asked COVID-19 to wrap it up in just a few weeks, with the hopes of returning to complete normalcy by Easter Sunday. I hope those negotiations go well, because nothing says Easter like the annual White House Viral Scan and Easter Egg Hunt. I'm afraid the three-legged race may need to be cancelled, as the nostalgia just doesn't fly with a 6-foot rope. Thankfully, testing has ramped up to 29% growth per day, which means 3.4% of our nation should be tested by then. Good enough, right?
We're still looking to capture 2nd place over Italy in the great race for infection or recovery on or about 3/28. You'll be happy to know that while we were late to the party, we're currently top seed for active cases globally. Better late than never!
Speaking of parties, I've tentatively moved my "No More COVID" party to May 25th, when it will be impossible to infect anyone else in these great states! That's a growth rate of 15.46% per day. Solid job to those coughing all over the produce!
The race to my party is clearly long and tiring, as the number of people who have bowed out since Monday has grown by a mind-bottling 84%. Let's hope this skate session is a little easier, or we'll be looking at 451,000 going down in a Blades of Glory just in time for Trump's Easter bash, based on these last two days. I'm fortunately optimistic that the overall death rate will hold, capping our losses on that same day to a modest 15,000, and 4.1 million when all is said and done on 5/25.
Don't forget to share your favorite Pinterest recipes of Hydroxychloroquine & Azithromycin!
We're still looking to capture 2nd place over Italy in the great race for infection or recovery on or about 3/28. You'll be happy to know that while we were late to the party, we're currently top seed for active cases globally. Better late than never!
Speaking of parties, I've tentatively moved my "No More COVID" party to May 25th, when it will be impossible to infect anyone else in these great states! That's a growth rate of 15.46% per day. Solid job to those coughing all over the produce!
The race to my party is clearly long and tiring, as the number of people who have bowed out since Monday has grown by a mind-bottling 84%. Let's hope this skate session is a little easier, or we'll be looking at 451,000 going down in a Blades of Glory just in time for Trump's Easter bash, based on these last two days. I'm fortunately optimistic that the overall death rate will hold, capping our losses on that same day to a modest 15,000, and 4.1 million when all is said and done on 5/25.
Don't forget to share your favorite Pinterest recipes of Hydroxychloroquine & Azithromycin!
Comments
Post a Comment