Skip to main content

March 6th, 2020 - What Numbers?

I love numbers. The first case of COVID in the US was on 1/20. The latest US count is 233. A that rate per day, everyone in the world will be infected by July 30th. Have a great day guys.

PS... the international rate gives us until September 15th.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

March 16th, 2020 - They're Just Numbers

Before I get started, any critical comments will be met with a funny fact. Give me my spreadsheets and stop freaking out. We'll be fine, and cooler heads will prevail, as they always have. #2 (no pun intended). You'll be happy to know that I have not contributed to the toilet paper shortage, not only by already having plenty of toilet paper long before this event, but by making every effort to hold it in to 1 poop a day. Boy, is that moment glorious. 'Merica!!! According to the CDC, the growth rate since 1/14 should have given us 2,291 cases this morning. But NOOOOOO! Not only was taking the under impossible with every sports book closed, we went big with 3,487 infected or recovered cases, bringing us a growth rate of 12.8% and to total US infection/recovery by June 20th! We're barely making it to summer! Which means we're almost there! It sounds to me like some healthier folks have decided to join the COVID party! We have pretty much halved our body bag requi...
Post a Comment
Read more

March 13th 2020 - This Virus is YUGE

Happy Friday, Y'all! This virus is YUUUUUUGE! I'm super proud to be a part of a country that has executed 13,624 specimen tests for COVID. Thanks to the Trump administration, I feel like we're super close to catching up to South Korea's 220,000 tests. Thankfully, we've got bigger scoreboards we can borrow, as every significant sporting event is cancelled to help us find our way to slowing the rate of growth and, inevitably, shrinking our infected population. Who would I be without my numbers! Our growth rate has increased by 5.6% to 12.03% per day! Today's 1,629 infected or recovered means we've advanced our way to total US infection by June 30th. Per a previous comment, parking is gonna be SOOOOO easy for those July 4th fireworks! There's an upside to everything. Tough loss for casket manufacturers, as our predicted body count has happily shrunk itself to just under 9.8 million. I hope they weren't capitalizing too early on demand. Also, I...
Post a Comment
Read more

April 20th, 2020 - Wait, This Isn't a Gun Show?

So it's the 20th of April (happy weed day, btw), and Trump supporters are protesting against Trump, who ordered folks to stay home until 4/30, by telling people to vote for Trump because of the Coronavirus. I've watched a handful of these folks protesting nurses and doctors and other medical experts, and I have literally no idea what their message is. Regardless, these new human petri dishes should check in to their local medical centers in about 2 weeks, so let's not break down these task forces TOO fast, okay? Our survival rate has dropped yet again, but continues to hold above the global average at about 95.33%. This brings your favorite family picnic or protest march to about 22 infected people before 1 of them will be leaving in a casket. Protesters in Michigan will be proud to know that their voices have been heard, and they've joined New York in below average survival rates. Nice work! Since so many folks are shaking hands, hugging, and comparing small penis ...
Post a Comment
Read more

What is this?

Don't worry, I'm just here with numbers. I'm not a scientist, and I'm not a doctor. I like mathematical trends, and that's about it. The numbers you see in every post are based off growth rates taken from the first cases of COVID-19 by the CDC and the current numbers they provide. This is simply a bunch of posts over a trendline.

The current numbers are real. The math is factual, the outcome is not.